A few nights ago, I was talking with one of my coworkers. She recently got out of a relationship and she realized that the only way to get over it is time.

It got me thinking...intoxication and post-relationship recovery are quite similar. When intoxicated, the room is spinning, you feel queezy, you want to sleep so bad but fear that you may choke on your own vomit. When recovering from a relationship, your head is flooded with depression, you feel empty, you want to sleep but everytime you close your eyes you think of that person. The only way to cure yourself is through time. Only time can heal your poisoned liver or broken heart, only time can sober the body and cleanse the mind, only time will help.

Some try to alleviate the intoxication with another drink or loneliness with a rebound, but that only postpones the healing process and multiples the time needed to completely recover.

The answer is TIME!

This post in inspired by one of my friends, "cold blooded, warm hearted."

So, I am a very affectionate person and I tend to give my entire self into a relationship, not head first, not feet first, but full bodied. I've realized that I need to become more stoic, I just need to learn how to "dance through life" and just let it come.

I don't want the guy to feel clausterphoic nor feel neglected. How much is too much and how little is too little?

Maybe it's because I haven't found the person that's compatible to me, but I feel like if I am able to control (withhold) more of my emotions early, I'll be able to become more marketable as a boyfriend and it'll last longer than just 2 months.

I've already started to started to go to restaurants and movies alone, becomeing more self-reliante when it comes to affection.

So the guy that inspired this post is in a psudo-relationship that I really respect. The guy that he's been "dating" has had some tough trials recently and is a baby-gay, so my friend feels that his guy needs his own space. My friend doesn't want to get hurt and he doesn't want to hurt him, so they're just having fun and trying not to fell too hard for eachother.

To be able to survive a gay-male relationship, you must learn how to be "cold blooded, warm hearted."

Okay, so you meet this guy. You think he's attractive and his initial personality really clicks with yours. He asks you out on a date and you agree. Weeks later, you two are officially a couple...

You start to really get to know him: learning about his life, visiting his apartment, shopping with him, eating at restaurants with him, even spending the night with him. A few more weeks roll around and you soon realize different things about him that bother you, just little things that anyone can work on (like chewing with one's mouth closed, not saying certain words or phrases, wearing deodorant, keeping one's room neat, not wearing socks to bed).

Should you try to change him?

How much is too much?

Once he has changed to your specification, will he still be the same guy you fell for?

Is the reason why the relationship has lasted as long as it has is because changing him was a challenge for you and once it's over, you're ready to find your next conquest?

In general, I believe that in relationships, people grow and people do change (but is that change better for him or you?).